Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Frogurt...Is Also Cursed


Utahns have always been known for their love for gimmicky desserts. Whether it's jell-o with creatively placed fruit chunks in the middle, or variations of ice cream, Provo might as well be the capital of dessert indulgence, most likely as a way of over-compensating for the lack of the regular vices found in most American college towns.

With that said, 2008 saw the rise of the Provo frozen yogurt spot. The foundation for this craze was laid in the 90's, as the "Yogi" in Utah fast food chain Hogi-Yogi. Frozen yogurt is a natural drug of choice for health-consicious yuppie college students and their older married friends.

It was no surprise to see startups like Fro-Yo or Yoasis (or as I call it, Broasis) catch on quickly in Provo. I did not, however, foresee the extent to which this fad would spread through Utah County in the face of a "recession". The day is not far off where there will be (apparently) recession-proof frozen yogurt restaurants on literally every street corner in the BYU bubble.

Tomorrow night may very well be the apex of the Frozen Yogurt wars: Competing over-the-top bro-fest events at competing frozen yogurt businesses.

According to my Facebook Events page, on Friday, April 10th, Spoon Me is having a "Spring Fever" party, while less than a block away, Yoasis is holding their much-anticipated One Year Anniversary Party. Both events boast the usual suspects: free admission, local bands as opening acts to the headlining local DJ/Dance Party, and of course, overpriced frozen yogurt.

Events like this teach the average Provo college student two valuable lessons:

1) You should never have to pay for any event ever in Provo. Places that charge for live music are ripping you off and offer no difference in quality to frozen yogurt parties. After attending said parties you are officially qualified to write home and tell your parents that you are fully intergrated to the underground culture of Provo...

and...

2) Live music is never reason enough to leave your apartment/dorm. It MUST be accompanied by the presence of food (preferrably frozen yogurt) and another form of entertainment, including, but not limited to: Live DJs, Guitar Hero contests, or Giveaways.

So who will win the frozen yogurt wars tomorrow night? This is a difficult question to answer; one of demographics, location, and marketing strategies. I, however, will be far from the pandemonium, watching The New Nervous play at a house in Orem, where I can nearly guarantee there will be no frozen yogurt.

6 comments:

d3myz said...

Although I am biased due to my involvement in one of the aforementioned events, I must ask. You said no one should ever have to pay for a event in Provo and anyone who charges for live music is ripping you off. Does that mean you don't feel as though being a musician and performing warrants you tender for your talents? What about benefits to raise money for a worthy cause? If all events were free we might as well be living in Socialist Canada. I think here they call it welfare. If you live in Provo in order to maintain sanity, certain activities are required. a. go to shows B. go to church activities and events C. use drugs and or alcohol to kill the monotony D. Go out to eat. E. Skateboard or hike or camp etc. You get my point. Provo is one of the most boring places on earth, so charging $5 to see 4 bands play and get free yogurt is a steal in my opinion. Especially when you know a thousand other people will be there to see and hear you play. :-) I heard Book on Tapeworm is playing tonight, I do enjoy scott's music I'm sorry i'll miss it.

Chance Clift said...

sorry for the confusion dude, i know it's hard to detect sarcasm through written word. I was just sarcastically referring to the entitled byu students who show up to velour and whine about a $5 cover when they saw a free show at Yoasis the night before. Free events are fine sometimes...but they condition already-cheap college students into feeling that they deserve all of their entertainment for free.

Celia Purcell said...

mmmmm, Frogurt. Did you hear that i am opening my own ice cream business. I will be preying on young children using ice cream novilties shaped like popular childrens characters such as spongebob square pants, Dora the explorer, and spiderman. ah, the art of manipulation we call marketing.

Trav said...

Chance

I thought this was the best Chance I would get for a shoutout on your blog - I was disappointed by the end

Will said...

The world used to be a purer place back before these yogurt places came up with the idea of mixing commercialism and music. Now we can never go back.

JoshandKenz said...

I am dying laughing because I am eating a frozen yogurt and reading your blog at the same time.